Death – As transformation…
I’ve had several important deaths in my life. Versions of myself, tranformative grandmothers, and puppies. Most recently my dear friend threatened suicide. I was a bit perturbed by my calmness around it, and at the same time fully immersed in the perfection of the unfolding of the universe. (I did contact a mutual friend to be with him, I’m out of country and he didn’t want to be talked out of it by ME anyways)
What I realized is this.
This person is full of blame, has been in and out of my life for a long time now. And refuses to take responsiblity for the victim mentality, and admit the creation of negative things in his life. This used to drive me nuts.
Now. I understand. I have created a masculine representation of inaction, of vitim hood. “No matter what i DO, it never works out. THEY block me at every turn.” I see my own feelings of frustration around actions I take that seems to have no response. I put together an “ebook” and no one reads it, it doesn’t drive any more traffic to me. I study and shift energy and do clearings, and I stiLL have this man in my life who feels victim.
And he’s stating “I’m done, I have nothing left, I’m leaving”. I’ve been doing everything I do for an illusory future where things will be better, and I have nothing left to give today.
And I can see. That the part of me that feels victim, that refuses to take responsibiltiy is ready to die. The part of me that lives in the future. I no longer need that victim hood, and so the person who in every way reflects that for me leaves. Because I love him, I don’t want to have him leave my life, but as a reflection, he’s no longer able to be in my life as I shift this, when he’s not willing to let go and shift it.
I am ready to step into complete and utter consciousness in my creation. Victim free…
Whether this happens the the plannet on a larger scale as consciosness increases, we will see!
ps. As an update, he did not commit suicide, but he experienced an equally radical transformation himself. How beautiful when we’re so close to the edge that things can change so much.
On another note, you don’t have to get THAT close before deciding Enough is Enough and making a change. 🙂