The way to get change happening. Self Love.

So  I wanted to share with you what *I* do when I notice I’m playing any of the “negative” games, and I don’t want to be anymore.

Specificially when things go “wrong”  I have a tendency to turtle, and become quiet, introspective and cyclical (aka the same thought through my head a 100 times, but it never comes out my mouth, and I just stew in it)

So this is what I do now.


So Elena, what did you mean when you said “I don’t feel comfortable”

Think the thought three or more times, it’s got to come out your mouth..  If it feels like I’m forcing it I ask myself.

  • Why are you scared of saying this thing?
  • What could you loose from saying it?
Usually the answer is something along the lines of
  • They might not love me anymore,
  • They could think I’m mean.
  • I might hurt them. (and if I hurt them they might not love me anymore, see the pattern?)


So Elena, They might think you’re mean.  Have you ever been mean in the past, and had it work out really well?

  • Well there was a time when I left my boyfriend because I thought he was being a jerk to me, and I felt really mean, but in the long run, it  caused lots of things to change, and now we’re really happy together.

Right, exactly. It was a catalyst for change.

Right.  Nothing would have changed if I hadn’t had the guts to be mean.


And in finding a way to love my “meanness” I transform it out of “stuckness” and into “creation” .. 🙂


This has been simple and ungramatically correct, but I hope you enjoyed it.


Love elena


ps. Write a list of 100 things you want.  It’s tougher than you might think.