To rescue, or to ???
So I’ve been following the sage advice “you must without fail love your creations”.. Yes, I love my creations, I look for the messages, the patterns, the repetition and the learnings that come from all the little quirks in life. I’m watching as my relationship patterns again and again, and as I love the creations, and see the patterns, and see the patterns not change, I still love them for their message, but I get a bit frustrated at ME, for continuing to create them, and the feeling that I am clearly NOT GETTING the message, even though I see it, and see it, and talk about it, and see it again. WHY am I not BEING IT!!
And then something clicked, I am my creation too!. So, not only do I have to love what I see out there, but I have to love me too!
Now some of you may be going, DUH.. but it’s new to me!
So when I see myself rescuing, and when my friends call me on it, and when I see myself again and again, I was building this “being a rescuer is bad, I’m bad to myself because I rescue people”
Well is that going to help me make change?? mmm.. I think not.. (clearly, it hasn’t been working!)
So. I know, I like to try and help people who won’t help themselves. I like to help them out, and not speak up when they ask me for help and I already have plans, or I was hoping to spend the day taking care of myself, or would really rather just not see them because I KNOW that while I’m helping them I will feel spectacular (because I allow myself to be a conduit for Source) but when I’m done, and they still don’t feel ALL better, I’ll feel like crap, like I failed, like I wasn’t good enough and didn’t change them forever!
(wow it feels good to type that).
So I ask myself, what does it look like to LOVE being a rescuer, to love myself for that, and to do it in a positive way. Is rescuer the right word?? *when I look it up, the thesaurus says savior. Do I want to be The Savior?? Umm No..
Have I metaphorically nailed myself to a cross just to keep the sun out of someone else’s eyes.. Umm .. Yes,
yes I have, more than once?? Yup, more than once. Have I learned my lesson?? Yes, Yes I freaking finally have!! So if I no longer consider myself a martyr, how do i define myself??
Here is where I was getting stuck. I LIKE being helpful, someone says, I need this, and I say, oh! I know how to do that! What is wrong with that? I also like being helped, when I’m having a bad day, or today my back is killing me, I love that I know my family will help me with dinner, and take Alexander for a bit longer than usual, and just generally help me take care of everything. I like this!! (I’m seeing that, it’s easy to help me, because I only have bad days once and a while, as opposed to trying to rescue someone from their self imposed misery, we have to do a certain amount of the work ourselves before we even qualify as being helpable!)
The key difference, is that I asked for help, and when I’m feeling better I’ll go back to taking care of myself fully. So can I be a helper? (now the thesaurus helps me again! (but only temporarily! haha) Can I be an aide, an ally, a backup, a collaborator, a colleague, a companion, a friend, a partner, a temporary supporter!!
I love all those so much better!
In other words, we are guiding ourselves in either an advanced manner, or an archaic one. Breathe that in for a moment. It’s a game changer.
So here’s to being an Ally! 😀
Love Light n Abundance
ps. If you haven’t heard, I’m re-inventing the world with Happy!
Happiness Bootcamp is:
- DOING what makes you happy,
- Sharing that joy with others,
- Inspiring others to be happier through loving action
- Being a loving presence in darkness or light
- Exploring new and goofy ways of bringing joy to life