Trust and respect have been so long lost that you spend more time testing one another, making each other prove yourselves finding reasons to doubt each other, and vying for control than you do creating and enjoying your love relationships.
LOVE DOES not need to possess, control, degrade, withhold, prove anything, distrust or conquer. Love simply loves. It flows. It is uninhibited, uncontrived, natural, innocent and spontaneous.
Did you know humans are terrified of feeling the totality of unconditional love? You have been taught to restrain yourselves lest you make fools of yourselves. You have been taught that it is impossible to love fully without hurting if the other person does not return your love and promise to stay forever. Without a 100% guarantee that you will not “lose” you hold back.. a little or a lot. It does not really matter how much. The point is that the flow has been dammed, and therefore controlled.
What if love were only possible by forfeiting all guarantees? What if love could only exist in the presence of surrender? What if there were no such thing as loss, only change?? What if you had to let go before the other person did without knowing whether he or she would ever let go or not?? You would risk disappointment, but that is all. If you have healthy self-esteem, and self love, the person you love cannot devastate or humiliate you. He or she cannot make you feel unworthy.. only you can!
The object of love is not to win persons over, break through their barrierrrs, make them need or desire you, or make sure you don’t lose. The object of love is to love, to cherish, to honor, to adore, to respect, to never harm, to appreciate, and never depreciate another.
To be in relationship with people with whom you do not resonate in order to try to learn to love them is not the quickest way work out your karma. It may show you your patterns at best. But to remain in a relationship that is all struggle and resistance can harm both you and your partner.
Everyone, and all of creation, deserves to be loved and adored. If you are with someone whom you cannot love and adore with all your heart, it will serve you both more to separate than to remain together. I am not speaking of a strong , loving relationship that temporarily goes through a rough period. I am speaking of relationships in which one or both people involved are in resistance and unhappiness more often than not — once the honeymoon phase is over. When you are in a relationship with someone you love and about whom you deeply care, to support them in the rough times as well as the easy times will be natural and fulfilling. If you are however, in a relationship chiefly because the other person makes you feel good about yourself, fulfills your sexual fantasies, and makes life better for you, then when your partner is experiencing pain or difficulty you will feel abandoned, neglected and unhappy and you will probably blame your partner for it.
In order for a relationship to have any chance of brining about true intimacy, and sustainable love, you must deeply care about your partner and his or her life, feelings and well being, and be moved to want to give freely and lovingly to your partner. Then when the rougher times comes, they need not affect the bond between the two of you. Instead the challenges will serve to deepen trust, loyalty, caring and intimacy between you.
THIS type of relationship foundation is imperative in order to have the relationship augment your spiritual path and that of your partner, and to achieve the type of sexual union that brings about healing and awakening of your soul. You cannot sustain feeling the depths of love without feeling all of your other emotions as well. Have you not noticed that when you have a very high spiritual experience or loving that is blending and sharing with another, that it is often followed by feeling of less pleasant emotions or negative thoughts?? This is because any time you raise your frequency beyond what it was previously anything in you that is incapable of maintaining that higher frequency is stimulated to let go.