How picky are you about how you feel?
I always talk about Sayulita being an Energetic Vortex, and the power and intensity that is available there… If you’re not evolving, you’re suffering there. And I hadn’t really understood what that would mean for my life until now.
This morning Alex pulled one of the bigger tantrums since we’ve come back. He was crying, and clearly wanted to drive in the car, when I was clearly going to be putting him in the bike carrier and biking to the Dayhome. I watched, as a piece of me noticed “if he’d done this 3 weeks ago, you would have been so charged, triggered and upset, that you’d be doing your 5 Fantastic Fingers exercise, and calming yourself down. Instead, he’s crying, I’m clear, and just going to move him to where I want him to be, and keep on with my day. ” Huh.. That’s new…
The crying this morning, and my reaction, made me realize that it all kind of feels like the volume’s been turned down. Exciting things are happening, spring is here, it’s beautiful, love is blossoming, life is moving onwards, alex is getting bigger. And yet it all feels a bit mute…
And an interesting thing has happened. I’ve stepped out of feeling like I’m living in this emotional drama, vortex of craziness. Before I left Mexico, I was literally doing the 5 Fantastic Fingers, deep breathing exercises every hour or so, because I needed to, to keep me calm. My signal to re-center was my “OMG I’m so freaking out right now” feeling.
And when I came back, well. Everything got calm, I wasn’t getting THAT upset about anything. I lost my trigger for doing my exercises, and I stopped doing the exercises. Hmm.. Also lost my ipod (Weapon of Consciousness, WOC) 2 weeks back.. Now I’m noticing the NUMB (No Uncomfortable Major Bullshit), and realized that without my practice (and the WOC), well.. things leveled out, and now because of my lack of practice, are sliding back down towards below the line….
I notice, that there’s a part of me that liked that up and down rollercoaster ride of emotions, calm to joyous. And that I’m much more confused and uncomfortable by “nice and easy” than I was with drama. (A wise friend of mine says “elena, you like the drama”…. yes.. I know I did, otherwise I wouldn’t have created so much of it. It’s so USEFUL for transformation you see..)
So.. My unique situation moving forward is this. Can I use the practices I created out of DRAMA and overwhelm and rollercoaster craziness. To uplevel my life in an extraordinary way. See, I am undoubted of the value of the practices. They saved my life, alex’s life, several plates (lol), and got me back to a warm nest in Canada, where I could heal that Drama Urge, and go UPwards… They also opened me to ecstatic bliss, and the knowledge that I can shift my state at any moment…. Sweet.
However, to this point, without the drama as my trigger to practice, I let the practices slide. Oooops.
The real question becomes.. How picky am I going to be about how I feel. With the volume turned down, I have to pay more attention…
So.. The new commitment to self. Is to see how amazing and spectacular I can really feel. On a consistent basis.. While continuing and sharing the practices I’ve created.
Simple… not necessarily easy. Worth it. Definitely. 🙂
Welcome, NEW ERA (New Elena Welcomes Extra Retroactive Awesomness) I’m off to go create a checklist/Chart for my week for myself (because I do SO well with golden stars as rewards). If you’d like a copy, hit reply and I’ll share it with you. 🙂
Elena (n Alex)